I love you more than you'll ever know

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When our time is up
When our lives are done
Will we say we’ve had our fun
Will we make our mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?

uh. i'm flunking everythingggg, and don't tell me otherwise cus you don't know what kinda crap answers i wrote :( amath was.. i guess the paper was quite okay but i didnt really study for it so yeah i found it kinda hard. i went wtf-ing in my head throughout the paper, haha. bio yesterday was like shit. i didnt study for the fricking nerve system and it just happened to come out in section C so like how awesome.
but yeah like whatever. i don't care anymore. my results are gonna be shit anyway, i mean like i only studied one and a half weeks before the exams and i've never been so unprepared ever. i don't know. so when my shit results come out i'm not gonna be sad cus i know i deserve it. when i say shit i really mean shit, not like people who say they just passed when they got 70 plus coughcoughcough (:

kay. so loads of stuff happened. 8th sept- westlife concert. haha. i want, need and must go taka food hall. shit it has like so so so many flavours of ice cream for venezia, and there're like nice-looking doughnuts next to venezia. Oh and i want, need and must go shopping soon too. hahaho. so where was i? westlife concert. yepp it was good, but its quite short so it ended at like 9.30 but i still kana shit from my parents anyway ahaha. i love westlife. yay.

so okay. some other stuff happened too, like my grandad passing away on 21st of sept, at 2 am. the hospital called and my family went there but i didnt know cus i was fricking asleep so yeah, aft i reached home from school mum told me and we went singapore casket. we went there for like three days, on saturday he got cremated, and we got to see his remainings and stuff. i'm seriously glad i had my cousins with me. we burned all those paper stuff like hell notes for him, would it have been disrespectful of me to say that i had fun doing it? but i really did.
yeahhh. somehow, just somehow i wasnt sad, okay sure i'm sad but not the kind of torn apart sad. i seriously wondered what the hell was wrong with me. but i cried watching him in the hospital cus it looked damn painful. he was in the icu for two days, and there was this tube as thick as a finger inserted through his mouth into his lungs. he kept wanting to take it off, it was damn damn damn hard to watch him, he couldnt talk, he couldnt eat and he didnt want to sleep cus he was afraid if he did, he'd go just like that, and he really wanted to see my dad just one last time so my dad flew back from china. so yeah then the doc finally took off the tubing and they transferred him to a room, with nurses there like 24/7 and he had this oxygen mask thing and this band thing wrapped around his head, still he kept wanting to take it off and he shifted from side to side on his bed and he wasn't comfortable. but he didnt want to die yet, he didnt sleep, he couldnt sleep. and it was just seriously saddening to see him tugging at his oxygen mask, pulling at all the tubes inserted into his wrists and nose. my aunt said he didnt wanna go cus he still had some unfinished business... i think he wanted to see my brother or something, who wouldnt want to take a last look at their grandson before they died? it just sucks that my brother didnt fly back from aus to see him. i mean, sure he had his exams in mid oct but come on this would only take 3 days. has everything really changed so much from the day you left for australia, have you really been distanced so much from your family, have you forgotten the kindergarden days when grandad walked to your school just to pick you up, sent me down the block everyday to watch me go up the school bus?

i haven't really discussed this with anyone. not even with my brother, how can i? he didnt go watch my grandad go through all that stuff like i did. plus he's obsessed with his girlfriend. i need to create a eye rolling smiley, seriously. i need alot of things. i need to buck up, i know that. But to study i need motivation and... i don't have that.

You've gotta pick yourself up,
Take another look
And dust yourself off cause life's not too good,
I'll say it to myself and I'll say it again

we're just puppets, puppets on strings

whaddup homies, i have a sister and a brother, they're anna sui and kaka. cus you know, everyone doesnt know how to spell tsui so they spelled it as sui for anna, so yeah the name kinda stuck with her.

spent most of my day doing homework but of course it still isnt completed yet. well duh, those stupid teachers just keep giving more WS when we go back for remedial lessons and stuff. and in the afternoon went with my dad to get specs. for him. yeah that's right he's back, he came back yesterday. okay whatever, anyway he looked really lecherous in those specs. hahaha.

okay yesterday morning went back for emath remedial, ng's last week oh how sad. pfft. jasmine and gang got her something and they said it was from the class but god we don't even know what it is. yeaaaaa so aft that went for lunch with ann and jacq, then ann went home and jack and i met bev and shiuan at taka, then walked to like wherever, i can't rmb, and ok seriously just walked a lot. jack was searching for her birthday suit and shiuan went with her and stuff so that left bev and me trailing after them like boyfriends. haha. that's what bev said. like omg okay, 3 hours and she still couldnt find a birthday suit. haha. :D so yeah, rushed home, then rushed to airport to fetch my dad. and he brought back a super huge stuffed toy for me which is like up to my waist haha. its a big yellow monster bear but aw its so cute. but my bed doesnt have anymore space cus im big and fat, and there're already 6 stuffed toys on my bed so it sits on my chair everytime i sleep. hahaha.

oh well. in 3 minutes, its gonna be 8th sept.

so letscountdown okay. ahhaha. cus i have nothing better to do.
3..
oh it just turned 2!
2..
oh i love lost okay, its like the nicest show ever. but its so draggy and stuff, and i just wanna know like what happens in the end.
1..
0
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK. -FROM YOUR BELOVED JILL!

xoxoxo, ciao

WHADDDUP, today's bio lecture was like so funny man. yeah cus it was taken by johari, damn he's like 10x better than teh. okay no offence, i'm sure teh's explanations are quite good(which i wouldnt know since he makes me stone in class) but he's so damn monotonous and boring like omg man.

so, did you know it's true that the bigger your brain is, the smarter you are? bet you didn't know that, HA. if your cerebrum's bigger, it has more capacity to hold information and stuff. but, we only use 10% of our brains. the rest of the information and memories, they're all inate, so thats why we can't like remember what we did when we were babies. and yeah, apparently albert einstein donated his brain to some place when he died, and they carried tests on it and his brain is like 15% bigger in the left part or something. and they still have the brain hahaha and its coming to singapore next mth. cool huh. and he says its true that right before you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes.

so quirky.

One more thing before you go
Would you please give me my records back
My bloody valentine, the pixies, cheap trick and back in black

HELLO I SHED MY OLD SKIN FOR THIS ONE! SO PLAINLY PRETTY. :D
anyway anyway anyway. i havent started on my homework yet. :( anyway. thursday was kinda lame. we the referee class won hahaha. DAMN STUPID LAHHHH our outfit was so eye catching already, when we entered the hall everyone turned to look at us, when i say everyone i mean EVERYONE. and we danced like right in front of the sec ones and the teachers ahh haha damn funny the sec ones were laughing like shittttt at us like omg man.
kk after that, went out with xinyu shiyun sinyee and devi, omg havent seen shiyun for the longest time, she looks damn diff. HAHA. she was so shy man. so we watched lovewrecked, which was okay but it isnt as nice as shes the man. ate dinner at pizza hut. yeah. THE TOILET INCIDENT WAS DAMN FUNNY I TELL YOU. hahaha. so anyway stupid yee went to the cubicle next to me, and then her stupid feet was sticking out into my cubicle so i poked her toes and she got so freaked out HAHAHA. and i laughed so hard i couldnt pee anymoreeee :(

OKAYYY went compass just now, saw the singapore idol people. i think singapore idol is way overrated. like in the newspapers today there's this girl who said she can't stop crying because joakim got out, like wth man. but anyhow, i hope paul twohill wins because i think he's the best singer(:

22 MORE DAYS TO STUDY FOR EOYS, 32 MORE DAYS BEFORE ITS ALL OVERRRRR